Sunday, July 15, 2012

How many KU grad students does it take to change a light bulb?


With this story the more appropriate question is how long does it take a grad student to change a light bulb.  The answer is longer than you would think.  One morning Alex and Jules woke up to find the light in the bathroom was burnt out.  (It seems like everything is going wrong with our bathroom lately.)  We had guests coming that evening so thought we should try and get it replaced.  That should be an easy enough task for Alex who had the afternoon off.  We even keep light bulbs on hand.  Of course the burnt out bulb was one of those new compact fluorescent bulbs (my question is why did it burn out if they are suppose to last up to 15 years).  It also didn’t screw into the fixture like normal light bulbs but had two prongs sticking out of the bottom.  (Please notice the complexity of this lighting situation as this story unfolds.)  I headed to the store in search of this unique light bulb.  After searching up and down the light bulb aisle numerous times I had no luck in finding a bulb with the prongy things sticking out.  Next I walked down to the local hardware store to ask professionals about the bulb.  The first guy looked at the bulb in puzzlement and stated that he had never seen anything like that before and then asked one of his co-workers about it.  The co-worker recognized it and knew they had two bulbs of this type in stock.  One of the cool things about these light bulbs (probably the only cool thing in my opinion) is it doesn’t matter if you match the wattages so I chose the higher wattage so our bathroom would be brighter.  I got back to the apartment and balanced precariously on the edge of the sink as I tried to replace the bulb.  The two prongs fit into the holes on the fixture and the bulb would light up but it wasn’t a secure fit so any movement would cause the light to flicker or go off.  I thought about using a rubber band or the handy woman’s secret weapon- duct tape- to get a more secure fit.  Anytime I tried to replace the light fixture cover it would turn off completely and the bulb was actually too big for the cover to fit back on correctly.  This meant another trek out to the hardware store to see if the other light bulb in stock would be the correct fit.  It was smaller but I still couldn’t get a constant connection- I tried putting this bulb in a number of different ways and was feeling very baffled that I couldn’t replace a light bulb by this time.  So I then turned to Google and YouTube.  I felt pretty stupid searching the phrase “how to replace a light bulb”.  I then noticed on the box that the model number of the bulb was listed.  (Sometimes I feel directions printed on boxes are just silly- hopefully you know to remove the pop tart from the wrapper before putting it in the toaster- but directions of how to replace this type of bulb would have been useful.  Instead they just give directions on how to throw the bulb away—I didn’t even know I needed a special technique to throw it away but since it contains mercury you do—just so you know.)  I googled the model number and actually found out more than I ever wanted to know about light bulbs and – drum roll please—how to replace them.  I jumped back up on the sink counter, twisted the bulb in the manner which the instructions gave, and wha-la there was light!  I felt almost as proud as if I had created light from darkness like God did during Creation.  So finally after over an hour and a half and lots of blood, sweat, and tears (literally sweat and blood and tears on the inside) I had finally replaced a light bulb.  Earlier in the week I had shelled out money for tuition and almost wanted a refund because apparently I’m not getting my money’s worth if I am struggling with light bulbs. I guess one thing I have learned to do in grad school is write pages and pages about nothing which means I can write an entire post about basic subject material like changing a light bulb.

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